You Are Not Worthy
by ikuzonos
Summary: Naegi was just about the only person who believed that he and Mukuro shouldn't date. (Non-Despair AU, background Naegi/Kirigiri)


He was her best friend.

Mukuro hung out with Naegi more than she did almost anyone else. She figured that it was hardly anything special, but this was Hope's Peak Academy.

And people _talked_.

Asahina, for one, brought up the topic by chance. She and Mukuro were stretching together, when she suddenly spoke.

"Hey, Ikusaba-chan? You should ask him out."

Mukuro blinked, "I'm sorry?"

Asahina chirped, "Naegi! You spend so much time with him already, and it's pretty obvious how you feel about him."

Mukuro looked away. Her face grew hot, as she said, "He's just my friend."

Asahina replied, "You don't have to get so worried, I won't tell anyone! But I really think you should talk to him. You two would be so cute together!"

Mukuro said flatly, "I don't think so."

"Why?" Asahina pouted.

"Because…" Mukuro stumbled, "Because Naegi-kun is is already taken."

Asahina's eyes widened, "Kirigiri-chan asked him, then?!"

Mukuro nodded, "Yeah, earlier this week."

Asahina said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. Unrequited love is like, the worst feeling in the world."

"It is," Mukuro said quietly, looking off into space, "It is."

* * *

"Thank you very much for having tea with me," Celeste said in between sips.

Mukuro shrugged, "It was my pleasure. You know I like hanging out with you, Celes-san."

Celeste smirked, "I'm just surprised that you were able to spare a moment from being at Naegi-kun's side."

"E-Excuse me?!" Mukuro exclaimed, going red.

"Oh?" Celeste said, raising a hand to her mouth, "Am I wrong to assume that the two of you are romantically involved?"

Mukuro looked away, not wanting to make eye contact any longer, "Very wrong."

Celeste bowed slightly, "My apologies. I merely heard that he was taken, so I made the assumption that you had finally swooped in. I suppose that I was incorrect."

Mukuro pushed away from the table that they were seated at, and began walking away, "Whatever. I don't care."

Unfortunately for her, it was very obvious that she was lying.

* * *

The gravel crunched beneath the wheels as Mondo's bike screeched to a stop. Mukuro leapt off the back, and brushed the dust off her clothes.

"Thanks for the ride," she said.

Mondo shrugged, "No problem. Anythin' for a friend. 'Sides, I was in town already."

Mukuro responded, "Still, thanks. You saved me a few hours at the bus stop."

"Like I said, no problem," Mondo said. He took a deep breath, then asked, "You doin' alright? Er, 'm not worryin' about you, 'm just that a leader looks out fer 'is crew."

Mukuro blinked a few times, "I'm… fine? I'm a little annoyed about the exams in the fall but other than that I'm not doing too bad."

Mondo leaned forward and whispered, "Nah, ya don't gotta lie to make me feel better. I heard 'bout Naegi 'n Kirigiri. Listen, I know shit like that sucks."

"I'm… happy for them?" Mukuro tried.

Mondo said, "Yer crushing on Naegi pretty hard, though. S'okay to admit it, Ikusaba. If yer bitter, that's just natural."

Mukuro felt bile rise in her throat, "I have to go."

She spun around and broke into a jog, racing back towards the school. As she did, she heard Mondo shouting behind her, "Hey, if ya need to talk, 'm here!"

* * *

Before seven, there was no prepared food in the kitchens. Mukuro poked through the fridge, hoping to find leftovers from the previous night. She was hopeless at cooking, and any attempt to make herself breakfast would end in disaster.

She found a container of soup, and pulled it out, shrugging. She put it in the microwave for a minute, and then approached the coffee machine.

Coffee wasn't too hard. All she had to do was press the buttons, and in ten minutes, it would be ready. Mukuro had only screwed up six times before.

Her soup was ready in no time at all, so Mukuro merely hovered around the kitchen, aimlessly shifting things, until there was a soft beeping noise coming from the machine.

Mukuro poured the coffee into a mug, and took a sip. It didn't taste like dirt, so she had probably done it right. She didn't like coffee in the slightest, but on Monday mornings, she needed the extra kick. With the coffee ready, Mukuro pulled the soup out of the microwave, and took both things into the dining hall.

She ate quietly, until the door to the dining hall opened. Mukuro looked up to see Kirigiri coming in, her silky hair swishing behind her. Privately, Mukuro wondered how on earth she took care of that much hair. She could barely look after her own, and she only had a short bob.

Kirigiri quietly approached the table, "May I join you?"

Mukuro blinked, "Um. Kirigiri-san, we _always_ eat breakfast together. Why would today be any different?" She realized after speaking that Kirigiri had not showed up for the past couple of days. Mukuro had then attributed it to a tough case, but this made an odd thought form in her heart.

"I'm sorry. I believed that you were angry at me," Kirigiri said, confirming Mukuro's suspicions, "I was hoping to avoid a falling out between us."

Mukuro blinked a few times as Kirigiri slipped into the seat across from her. When the lavender haired girl was sitting down, Mukuro asked, "Why on earth would I be angry at you? D-Did I say something that came out badly?"

Kirigiri replied, "No, nothing like that. It's just because of myself and Naegi-kun…"

"Why would that make me angry?" Mukuro said, "You guys are my friends and I'm happy for both of you."

Kirigiri ran a hand through her hair subconsciously, "Forgive me for spreading gossip… I was… told that you liked Naegi-kun…"

Mukuro's face burned. Grabbing her soup and coffee, she stood up, "I have to go."

Kirigiri said, "I'm sorry, I-"

"I have to go," Mukuro repeated, and hurried out of the dining hall. She almost ran back to her room, and slumped down on the floor. She remained there for the rest of the morning, quietly eating, and trying not to cry.

* * *

After class, Mukuro went to the library with Naegi and Junko. It was a nice time for all of them, though Junko nearly got them kicked out six times due to her excitement.

Naegi had to leave them early, heading to a doctor's appointment. Junko drove him as close as she could to the office, and then waved dramatically as he walked away. Once he was a safe distance away, Junko turned to Mukuro in her seat with a grin.

"Hey, I can still sabotage their relationship, if you want," she said, "I saw how touchy you were with Naegi-kun just now, so like-"

"Junko-chan!" Mukuro cried, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

Junko's breath hitched, "R-Right. I'm sorry, I forgot."

A lump formed in Mukuro's throat. Tears began pouring down her face, and she opened the car door and climbed out, "I… I have to go."

Junko called out, "What?! It's twenty kilometres to the school! It'll take you over two hours to get back!"

"I'll take the _bus_!" Mukuro snapped, knowing full well that there was no bus service in the area, "Goodbye!"

She stormed off, ignoring Junko's shouts, and dived into a back alley to escape her sister. When she was certain that she had finally shaken her off, Mukuro broke into a jog. Tears and snot got in the way as she ran, but she didn't even think of stopping once.

* * *

 **7:32PM Outgoing call to Kuwata-kun.**

 **7:33PM Outgoing call missed.**

 **7:38PM Outgoing call to Kuwata-kun.**

 **7:38PM Outgoing call missed.**

 **7:47PM Incoming call from Kuwata-kun.**

"Yo, Ikusaba!" Leon's voice rang loudly through her speakers, "Sorry I missed your calls. What's up?"

Mukuro sighed and leaned back on her bed, "I'm so tired."

Leon said, "Yeah, uh… I heard from your sister that you ran twenty kilometres? Are you okay?"

"No," Mukuro replied, talking into her pillow, "I'm exhausted and stressed, and I don't think I can do this anymore."

Leon was quiet for a moment, before asking, "Is this about Naegi?"

"Yes," she mumbled.

Leon's tone turned compassionate, "Shit, are people still bugging you about dating him?"

Mukuro sniffled, "Y-Yeah… I don't think I can deal with it anymore. He's _taken_ too, so I don't understand why our classmates keep talking to me about it."

"They're dipshits," Leon responded kindly.

Despite the tears in her eyes, that brought a laugh from Mukuro.

Leon continued on, "I mean, when we first became friends, I thought the two of you were dating because of how close and touchy you two were-"

Mukuro hung up.

Leon phoned her a few times, but she declined every single call. When she figured he was done, Mukuro texted Naegi.

[[ _Are you busy._ ]]

[[ **not really o: why?** ]]

[[ _Can I come over._ ]]

[[ **sure ! r u okay?** ]]

[[ _No. I'll see you in a few minutes_. ]]

Without waiting for another reply, Mukuro shoved her phone into her pocket, and left her room. She arrived in front of Naegi's door quickly, and knocked sharply three times.

He opened the door almost right away, "Hi, Ikusaba-san! ...Are you crying?"

Mukuro nodded. Naegi quickly moved away from the door, letting her come inside. When his door was locked, he said, "What's going on?"

She whispered, "I really don't want to talk about it… I just want to watch a stupid movie with my best friend, and not think at all."

Naegi nodded, "I have just the thing." He grabbed a DVD case off the floor, and pulled the disk out. He and Mukuro sat on his bed, and waited for the movie to load on his laptop.

Naegi was just about the only person who believed that they _shouldn't_ date. And that made Mukuro happier than anything.

For the rest of the night, they watched stupid animated movies, whatever Naegi was able to find. At some point between Space Chimps and Shrek 4, Naegi fell asleep. Mukuro laughed quietly, brushed some of his hair out of his eyes, then turned back to his laptop. She fell asleep herself when the credits for The Land Before Time were playing out.

* * *

When morning came, Mukuro practically shot awake. Naegi was still snoring on his side, completely dead to the world.

Mukuro carefully got up off his bed, trying not to wake him, and snuck out of his room. She was hoping that since it was so early, nobody would see her, but she wasn't the one with Super High-School Level Good Luck.

"Ikusaba-chi!" came Hagakure's booming shout, "What're you doing?"

She froze in place, tense, "Please go away."

Hagakure ran up to her, "What were you doing with Naegi-chi so early? Are you-" he gasped- "taking the walk of shame?"

Mukuro's face screwed up, "N-No! That's gross- we're teenagers- he's taken- I'm g-" She bit down tightly on her tongue to stop herself from screaming the last part.

Hagakure said, "I'll keep your secret, but in return, I need your organs so that-"

Mukuro took off, ignoring Hagakure's spiel, her heart rising to her throat. She slammed her door shut, and lay down on the floor, crying.

It shouldn't be so difficult for her to just _tell people_. But it was, and she hated it.

There were two light knocks on her door. Mukuro ignored them, but then they repeated themselves.

"Ikusaba-chan?" came Sayaka's muffled voice, "Are you in there?"

Mukuro yelled into her carpet, "Go away!"

The door opened. Mukuro sat up, red faced and teary eyed, and Sayaka approached her after locking the door. She sat down in front of Mukuro, and smiled gently.

"It's going to be okay," Sayaka said, "I promise that they'll stop assuming that you're-"

Mukuro choked, "No they won't…"

Sayaka replied, "I'm certain they will. Even if you don't ever come out to them, they'll stop. I know you're scared, and you never have to tell anyone else, but they won't take it badly."

"Do you think so?" Mukuro asked.

Sayaka nodded, "I know so! Everyone was supportive when I came out as bisexual, and they'll support you if you come out a lesbian, just like they've supported-"

She broke off as Mukuro hugged her tightly, "Thank you so much… I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sayaka smiled, and whispered, "And… just for the record, I never once thought that you had a crush on Naegi-kun. Never."

Mukuro began to cry again, though this time, her tears were tears of joy.

 _Thank you._


End file.
